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Signs that the Olympics have done weird things to your head


* You have decided on a name for your next child - Cathy if it is a girl
and Van den Hoogenband if it's a boy

* You have actually spotted Syd, Millie or Olly

* You know that there will be plenty of tickets to see 'Hollow Man' on Friday night, but you still started queuing on Wednesday

* You have begun to wear your drivers licence around your neck

* You just had another argument with the neighbours - about synchronised swimming

* Your five essential food groups are: Burgers, pizza, Thai, kebab and leftovers

* You don't know the entire Lithuanian national anthem, but you are pretty sure that the first line is, 'Lithuania, our homeland, you are the land of  heroes'

* Your Bruce McAvaney impression is beginning to sound less like a Pakistani greengrocer and actually a bit like Bruce McAvaney

* You have tried hypnosis, heavy drugs and three days in confinement,but you still can't get the songs Absolutely Everybody, Carry The Flame and Dare To Dream out of your head.

* You have figured out the rules of the cycling points race, only eight days after the event finished

* You can pronounce 'Gregorieva' even though you can't spell it

* You have forgiven the IOC

* You believe that the Volley ball court on Bondi Beach could be turned into a massive beach cricket stadium

* You can't remember who won the football grand final

* You've seen John Howard on TV so much, that last night you dreamed  that you actually voted for him

* You slept through the alarm clock yesterday and got the full three hours sleep

* You are thinking of taking up jogging in your lunch hour because Athens
is only four years away

* When you called your girlfriend your 'little fat-arsed wombat', it was an endearment

* You have forgotten what Eddie McGuire looks like

* You open your bag for inspection and remove the metal objects from your pockets before going through your front door

* You have a favourite trampolinist